I hate October.  Loathe it.  With every fibre of my being. 

It’s not exactly a 31 day, calendar event, but every year since I can remember, this time of the year rolls around and suddenly my skin is too tight, the world is grey, and my temper, which is of the tightly-reined redheaded variety, is suddenly unleashed.

Back when we used to see each other more than a couple of times a month, October was always the month that Not My Boyfriend and I would have an epic blowout fight–The kind that results in not speaking to each other until Christmas.  Given the things I’ve forgiven Not My Boyfriend for over the years, none of which have happened in October, that’s saying something about October.  Now, he just avoids me until this blows over; it’s safer for everyone this way.

This October is going better than most.  I actually started it with an unaccustomed feeling of lightness.  A sense of optimism and possibility that I’m not used to associating with this time of the year. 

That lasted until Thanksgiving, when I awoke with an intense feeling of dread and an intense desire to just crawl under the covers and stay there.  Clearly impossible, given the 17 immediate family members congregated at my parents’ house who were expecting us, but also clearly the more attractive option. 

It wasn’t a bad Thanksgiving.  I didn’t feel the need to take my children and leave before the turkey.  And I’m pretty sure I managed not to say anything that will come back to bite me on the ass.  Didn’t even write about it, so no one can complain there.  Unless they complain about the fact that I didn’t write about it, which is entirely possible.  But, all in all, it was probably the best Thanksgiving I’ve had in years.  But I still really, really hate the enforced gratitude and appreciation that is “Thanksgiving.”

It’s been downhill from there.  As you can see, I’m just a ray of sunshine.  The worst part is, knowing that this was coming, I’ve been trying so hard not to fall into the trap again.  But here I am, feeling like the world is completely blah and wishing I could just crawl into a cave and not have to interact with anyone for the forseeable future. 

Instead, I’m treating all of you (snort.  All.  Like so many of you are still reading!) to the joy that is me in October. 

I’ll try to do better.  Or at least make the ranting funny.